Hello I am the Big Fat Greek Mother. I am Greek. So so Greek. Oh and I am a mother. The fat bit is a bit more like phat you get me bruv? Like I sooooo badly want to me in the cool mum gang hence: phat. I have three (count em) boys and I love them all like a hot moussakka on a cold rainy day. Actually I probably should love them a bit more than that.... hmmmm.

I like to think of myself as a funny lady and my job is to make people laugh, 'to make the joke' as my little Greek mother says. So for some reason on this very first post (soz) I am going to go in the opposite direction to sadsville. Now listen up, yes they say its Blue Monday, yes-yes its like the mother Armageddon (Ar-MUM-geddon get it?) of all days according to some scientist somewhere in the world (was he a man) who was feeling down in the dumps and so decided to lumber us all with a miserable title/self fulfilling prophecy/ depressing stamp on a day.

BUT this is just a day and tomorrow is another. There will be good days and bad days all the time pretty mama but do you know how awesome you actually are? Do you know how fantabulous you are? For a start if you are a mama and you are reading this you are pretty frickin special! Are you raising little people? Have you kept them alive?....(go check) Well?  There you go girl!!! Don't tell me you messed up today coz so did I!  I do this most days and I struggle not to feel like a mom-turd, especially on the school run when I turn into a banshee and lose all control of my boys. Listen you are okay and you are good enough and guess what you are loved. So SO loved. You got this and you are doing great.

I am not making light of those dark feelings or being flippant about mental health or being seriously low because I have been there and actually am still there on some bad days. With the births of each of my boys I had severe post natal depression which resulted in a breakdown after the birth of my third child. This is the first time I am saying this publicly because I want someone to read this and catch some loving, catch some hope. I haven't got it all sussed out and I am not preaching at you mama but I do want  to tell you this; you will come through. I want you to know that these low feelings wont last forever and that what you do for your kids is good enough. YOU are good enough. Don't suffer in silence if you are struggling, don't soldier on and pretend, find that person you love and trust and talk. Sometimes just admitting to someone about how low you are is the first step up through that dark stairwell. We all have a responsibility as mothers to love and support one another and to be on the lookout if one of our sisters aint feeling right, yes? Motherhood isn't a competition about who mothers the best. It's about loving others when it costs. Its about making someone a cup of tea and reaching out to someone who needs it. That someone was once me.

You are not alone pretty mama. Other mothers have been where you are, are going through the same pain right now. Don't hide, don't blame yourself and don't beat yourself up. Depression is taboo for a mum. Why? I will tell you why, because we assume a depressed mother cant be a good mother. Well I was depressed for so many years when my boys were small but I never failed them as a mother. If truth be told when I finally went for help a few years ago to my doctor my breakthrough came. I enjoy motherhood now more than I ever dreamed I could. Perhaps this is a cheesy cheese-on-toast way to end but as a comedy insta-mumma person type person I only got to the place where I could be truly funny when I gave myself the right to be sad. Just to be.

So pretty mama this time will pass. You are not alone don't stay silent, come out from your hiding place. You will come through and you are awesome and loved. Did I not mention that earlier? Oh so so loved.