What Women Really Want

By Bambos "Heracles" Constantinou

Hello my name is Bambos and I am fit. I am well fit. Also I am good with women and they know it. Not everyone is as good as me as getting gels and knowing what they want. Thats coz I got special powers of attracksion and I know how to sort women out. Especially the moody ones. Also me mum has tort me a lot about womens bits n'that. I want to say fanks to my cousin Androulla for spell checkin this what I've written. This is first time what I have ever wrote a bog. Hope its boss 4U mate.
  

What you need to know first of all is that girls like you to treat them bad. They don't want no nice boy its a lie, what they call a miff in Ainchent Greece. The fing is believe or not, the worse you treat them the more they want you. All the gels what say they fight for feminine rights just melt in my hand. Like pussycats innit. Don't you believe it mate women are only playing hard to get, they don't really want quality of the sexes. Women want you to dominoe over them and tell em what to do. Women actually love it if you let them clear up for you and cook n' clean n' that. I went out with a bird called Christy once who was very sweaty all the time, but always ironed my shirts so nice. It was a hard time for me when I had to dump her and let her go. Fing is women really REALLY want to do housework. I'm telling you they beg for it. Makes them feel wanted and used. My mum washes all my pants and she loves it and for a treat on Mothers day I let her cut my toenails n'all.


Some birds got something very bad called 'mormones'. A birds mormones can be really really bad and make her life difficult. Its been mishunderstood that men can make womens mormones worse by gettin' on their nerves. This is a lie because its not my fault if my bird is a miserable cow innit!. My cousin Stavros ex gelfreind Bianca keyed his BMW coz her mormones were so bad. Poor fella I fink she got that disease called the mentalpause that women get when they have parsed their sell by date. So make sure you pick a bird that has good mormones so she can treat you right. Its best to select a bird that is young coz she is calmer and easier to manage like a mote control car. Also never ever ever EVER go near any woman at all when she got that time of the month coz she could kill you. Its not safe mate.

When you pick a gel go check out her mother first that she ain't no minger. See I went out with a gel called Maria once and when i met her mum I was well shocked coz she had a tache and was the size of a number 29 bus. So I dumped her innit coz women always turn into their mothers. Watch out mate consider this a warning. Sometimes you might hit the jackpot and the mother might be a better looker than her dorter.  If you get that then dump her and take out her mum instead. Rimember check out the mother hen first before you go out with the chick.

Women want you to know how to dress. Its portant to Dress right for women.  Im a small guy but I make sure my pants are well tight so the girls can see the goods. If i really want to impress a bird I wear some fresh white socks and slip on my black leather shoes. This is something called 'taste' and women love it. A onezie is always a good idea to wear on a casual date like the cinema or if you go Brent Cross with a woman coz its shows her you is a relaxed down to earth bloke. Also dont wash too often coz womens like that dirty manly cowboy smell. I dont wash for days so sometimes sweeten it up with a bit of Brut if I am seeing a woman.

You gotta be savvy when chousing the right woman. At the cash n'carry I gotta chouse the best potatoes out the bag and leave the dodgy ones. Treat a women like a potato. Take the good ones out and leave the funny looking ones behind. Some women have a nice pershonality and deep filings but are well butters and you can go for one of them but id advice against it.  Oh and make sure you go for a gel with a big arse coz she is the one that will pop kids out the best. I saw that on the Karadashians. 


Another fing to watch out is you can understand women by always doing the oposite of what they say. They really love it if you do this. Girls say they want a nice slap up dinner in a fancy restaurant but what they really want is a Macdonalds or if you wanna be flash a Burger King. Remember gels like it down to earth. I have sedated lots a gels wiv my powers of attraksion by using a toothpick to clean my teeth on a date. It only works if you stair into there eyes at the same time to look interestid. They love it. They beg for it. My mate Harrys fiance been asking him to do the decorating for over a year now but he's clever and he dont do it coz he knows she really wants the oposite. 

Every now and again suprise the woman, throw a dog a bone and treat her. Wood Green Shoppin City does a nice gels hamper for valentimes day for a fiver its got everything in it. Candles and nice knock off chocolate and everything. Just watch out because the bubble bath in it took my mates skin off last week. Oh and gels also love it when you give them the opotunity to give YOU a masharg. Also another tip is Bounds Green Kebab house do the cheepest grub in north London and its all you can eat fing. Girls love that coz its value for money and it shows them you are matchure.

Oh and a final fing if you do wot i writ here in this bog then what women really want is YOU mate. Get in there go on back of the net!.

Bambos is a North London business man and owner of Bambos Cash & Carry on Green Lanes.

Watch Bambos go out OUT on Alexia Stifado & Friends on youtube

https://youtu.be/6SyQUQ-2OW0